ENJOYING YOUR MARRIAGE
Why did God institute marriage? For companionship and procreation. Marriage was not meant for you to endure but to enjoy. Spending time with your spouse is supposed to bring you joy, not sorrow. If you’re not finding joy in your marriage, then that marriage is faulty and you need God to help you fix it.
You cannot fix your spouse, only God can do that. If you keep correcting and complaining, you’ll soon earn the title of a nag. So let God do it.
Below tips will help you enjoy your marriage despite the challenges you may be facing now;
- Involve God: Prayerfully involve God in what is happening in your marriage. Tell God you’ve handed over your spouse and marriage to Him. He should help you fix it, so you can start enjoying your home.
- Forgiveness: Please forgive your spouse, even if he/she hasn’t apologised for their wrongdoings. Jesus died for us while we were still sinners. He didn’t wait for us to repent before coming to die for us. He died even when we didn’t apologise for our sins. Kindly do same for your spouse today and enjoy peace of mind. Keep forgiving whenever any offence comes up.
- Love unconditionally: The Bible teaches us to love our enemies, then how much more our spouses? Make up your mind to love your spouse despite he/she shortcomings. Tell yourself that you are prepared to forgive any sin he may commit in future because that’s exactly what Jesus has done for you too. Even the sins you are yet to commit, have already been forgiven since 2000 years ago.
- Don’t expect appreciation.
It’s very disheartening when you put in your best to do something and no one seems to appreciate it. Sometimes your spouse does it on purpose. He or she pretends not to see the neatly arranged parlour or the beautifully made bedroom. How about that special dinner you just fixed? All goes unnoticed. Very painful indeed. Be consoled by this word of God, which says :
Colossians 3:23-24 (KJV)
And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;
Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.
Never do anything expecting a thank you from your spouse. Do all unto God, for He is your rewarder. He alone can pay you back for the love, time and energy invested into building your home. While you tend to the Master’s job (which is being a good spouse, God will in turn work on your partner, to bring forth a better version of him or her).
- Ignore certain things.
Not every matter should be brought forward for discussion. Learn to ignore some things and let God handle it. If you keep pointing out your spouse’s mistakes, you may make him or her feel uncomfortable around you or worse still, you end up sounding like a nag. Just ignore. Always pray for your spouse and believe God is able to resolve any marital problems you may be facing now.
- Communication is vital.
We all know the important role Communication plays in making any marriage successful.
In your marriage, don’t assume. Always clarify things. Pass your message in a timely manner; that is, watch out for his or her mood and be precise.
Try to speak about important issues, so that you’ll always get his or her attention. If you keep speaking on every issue that comes up at home, you’ll soon start sounding boring. Learn to speak to your Heavenly Father on some issues, rather than presenting all to your spouse.
Speak clearly and don’t assume he or she has heard, but chose to ignore you. That may not be the case. Sometimes, when I have a very important issue to tell my spouse, I send a message to his phone. It may be a bit lengthy but unambiguous. I don’t do this often, so when he receives such messages, he considers it important and takes time to read it, so no information is lost.
- Touch your spouse
Touch is another way of communicating with your spouse. Sometimes a simple touch on the arm of your spouse as you walk pass him or her could simply mean I care.
Touch has a way of breaking down tension in the home, especially when communication has failed.
Just a gentle touch on any part of the body and walk away without saying a word. It helps heal the mind and rekindles love.
- Make yourself available
Most times when couples have unresolved issues, they tend to avoid each other. This makes things more difficult and increases the tension at home.
It’s rather advisable to make yourself available in case your partner feels like making peace with you. By being available, you make it a bit easier for your spouse to pour out his or her mind to you.
Some feel, staying around their spouse makes them feel like they’re intruding or invading their privacy. I totally understand, so I advise you stay for a brief moment and watch their reaction, then decide whether to stay or leave.
In order not to make it look boring or weird, take a book with you to read or keep yourself busy while being around your spouse. Bear in mind that your spouse may not say anything, that’s totally fine. Your staying around him/her will certainly reduce the tension and open doors to easy communication.
- Bask in God’s presence
Your marriage is already facing crises right now, so enjoying that marriage will require a determined effort by you to stay positive, calm and happy. Yes, I said happy. You’re wondering how possible it is to stay happy in a marriage that is falling apart.
It is possible, when you learn to bask in God’s presence. Inviting God into your home and cultivating the habit of spending time with Him, will certainly yield positive vibes in your home. You’ll soon come to the realisation that God is in total control of your life and marriage and nothing can happen without His consent.
When you spend time with God daily, you are basking in His presence. The more time you spend with God, the more glorious He makes your life, and soon you’ll stop worrying about your marriage because God has got your back.
- Speak calmly and softly
When your spouse gets upset and starts speaking in a loud or rude manner, stay calm and respond in a soft tone. Your calm soft response has a way of calming the nerves, while a rude sharp response would only feed the anger in him or her.
Don’t consider yourself a weakling when you act like this. This is the way of the Lord, and it usually brings fantastic results.
Proverbs 15:1 says; “A soft word turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
PRAYERS FOR TODAY
- Oh God arise and let your perfect will be done in my life and marriage in Jesus name, Amen.
- My Father in Heaven, please touch the heart of my husband/wife and draw him/her closer to you.
- Teach me Lord how to hear from you and show me the path to follow in Jesus name, Amen.
- Dear Lord, please uproot whatever you did not plant in my marriage in Jesus name, Amen.
Please note that each prayer should be prayed for at least 15 minutes. If you desire to pray more than that, that’s ok.