For your marriage to thrive, you need a conducive home. A place filled with God’s presence and love. Our homes should be that place of succour where our spouses look forward to returning to after the day’s hassle.
Naturally we all desire a peaceful and loving home, but hard as we try, we still notice a bit of disharmony. Sometimes, after exacting energy and time to create a warm ambience at home, all you receive is ingratitude. Your spouse seems not to notice all you’ve done or intentionally decides to ignore it. At times, he or she may still find something to criticise despite the commendable job done. All these are targeted at provoking or discouraging you. In the previous chapter we discussed how doing good to your spouse can help you save your marriage. So, if you have decided to apply that step, then be ready to ignore any form of ingratitude from your spouse. Don’t do anything expecting a “thank you” or “well done”, do it because Jesus did it too and he has commanded us to imitate His ways. While Jesus hung on the cross bleeding for sins which He never committed, He was offered vinegar to drink and made mockery of. He was not appreciated for that huge sacrifice done to save humanity.
We have been called to obey God and choose His ways at all times, though the road be rough and bumpy, we are to hold fast to what we profess as Christians. We are called Christians because we emulate Christ. How many of us are truly living that Christ-like life in our homes? Can we go the extra mile for our spouses? Can we be spat upon without retaliating? Can we bear shame and humiliation that the name of Jesus be glorified? When your spouse speaks unkind and belittling words to you, how do you react? Indeed it is a hard thing to follow Jesus, but His grace is sufficient for those who are willing.
To create a conducive home, you must die to self. It’s no longer about you, but Christ. Be ready to forgive even when no apology has been tendered. Focus more on pleasing God with your conduct and let God handle the rest for you. Proverbs 16:7 says “When a man’s ways please the LORD, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him”. No, your spouse is not your enemy but the devil, so if God can make your enemies to be at peace with you, how much more your spouse? God can fix that too. So your primary responsibility is to please God, and do His will.
We all need the help of the Holy Spirit to succeed in our marriages. He is called our helper because “He will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you” (John 14: 26).
The Holy Spirit is also known as the Advocate, to help you make good decisions. He dwells in you and empowers you to do what ordinarily you wouldn’t be able to.
To further understand how to run your home peacefully, you will need divine wisdom and inspiration and the Holy Spirit is here to help you out in that area too as it’s written in 1 Corinthians 2:10-11 “These are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who knows a person’s thoughts except for their own spirit within them? In the same way, no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God”. Do you want to know God’s thoughts towards you, your spouse or your marriage? Then, daily pray for a fresh infilling of the Holy Spirit in your life. He will illuminate your path and grant you divine wisdom and understanding